i write this entry in concern. concern for the well-being of the world.
why you ask? well i feel that i have uncovered the conspiracy of the century. a conspiracy that puts all other conspiracies to shame. and no one is safe from this conspiracy.
no one.
see the picture on the left? looks like a normal elevator panel… right? all of you people who live or work where there is an elevator, will think this is a normal sight. you got all the buttons of a normal elevator. everything is fine and dandy, right?
well that’s just the problem. this conspiracy is everywhere. and we don’t even notice it anymore. we never have.
have you ever tried pushing the “close door” button? you know, when you are in a hurry, and there is obviously no one coming, no reason to wait for that couple seconds for the doors to automatically close. makes perfect sense right? well i am here to tell you that that button doesn’t really exist. i know you are saying right now.. “but tracy, i see it, i know it exists.” this is true. but that button is only there for decoration, for pretty, to make us feel better, to keep the population from rioting! we feel that if we push that button, the doors will close faster. but this is NOT true. it is just there to be a distraction… and never really works! (i know, this is shocking news, but please, remain calm… ) in thinking about this problem even more… i have come to the realization that this must be the work of the government. yes. the government. they put that button there, to occupy us from seeing the real issues. to distract us from the elevator doors that which we cannot control. (yes. hard to believe… but.. hey.. put that blowtorch down… please….) the real truth is that we do NOT have control over how fast those elevator doors close (uhhh.. please step away from the knives… )… and in this day and age when we can control everything by pushing a button.. clapping our hands.. turning on a switch… clicking a mouse… this is appalling news to the masses! the government knows this and this put this button in place to keep us at bay.
now i have done my part in warning you about this conspiracy. it is now your job to pass along the message to your friends. and don’t worry, they will look at you like you are crazy. they are just too deep in the “elevator button conspiracy” to heed your warning.
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