*some assembly required.

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*moe walks away*

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orchid8 oh. maybe a life water boy? maybe i’ll be that. i like the way you think.

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:-)

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(from icanhascheesburger.com)

(from somewhere… found on myspace)

:-)

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20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. at lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see If they slow down.

2. page yourself over the intercom. don’t disguise your voice.

3. every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. put your garbage can on your desk and label it “In.”

5. put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. in the memo field of all your checks, write “For smuggling diamonds.”

7. finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”

8. don t use any punctuation

9. as often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. specify that your drive-through order is “To Go.”

12. sing along at the opera

13. go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme

14. put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.

16. have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, “Rock Bottom”.

17. when the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I Won!, I Won!”

18. when leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”

19. tell your children over dinner. “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

20. and … the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity: pass this on. make someone smile

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enjoy

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well… this has got to be the funniest remake… ever.

alanis morissette just went up a couple notches in my ‘favorite artist’ category.

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You’re interested in things such as politics, psychology, child care, and peace. I wouldn’t go so far as to call you a hippie, but some of you may be tree-huggers. You’re the type of people who are interested in bettering the world. You’re possible the least nerdy of them all; unless you participate in other activies that paled your nerdiness compared to your involvement in social activities. Whatever the case, we could still use more of you around.

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first off… it was super fun to hang out with michele’s sister.. as well as meet her brother in law, and a good close friend from michele’s high school years. we were all pretty lazy … we didn’t do a whole lot.. played some music… ate…. watched movies… ate some more… etc. i even had the chance to meet up with one of my friends through youth encounter, and fellow nerd, dana… since she’s going to school just north of where i was.

oh, and the flight back was a very.. interesting.. one. first off.. i had my djembe with me… and on the way to norfolk… i hand checked the drum at the gate. and that worked out just fine. then on the flight back.. i was picking up a “gate check” tag… and the lady taking the boarding passes said “you won’t need one of those.. that will fit in the overhead storage” .. “really? uhh.. ok.” well.. it turns out that she lied. (she probably thought that it would ‘smoosh’… but it’s solid wood… so it’s not ‘smooshing’ anytime soon. the flight attendants also asked “does it smoosh”… “uhh.. i hope not. it’s a tree” there were also other musicians on the plane.. so that was kinda fun. one lady even knew that it was a djembe and not a “bongo” (which the attendants kept calling it). since the flight wasn’t full.. the flight attendants put the drum in it’s own seat and buckled it in… they were so excited about having a musical instrument on the plane.. they recommended the name “burt” for the drum.. and also mentioned the idea of doing a “conga line.” even the pilot got into the game and announced over the loud speaker that the ‘flight attendants are very musical.. so if anyone has any… musical instruments… they should play them’. but the best part was when one of the flight attendants approached me with the idea of playing the djembe while everyone de-planed. so i moved to the back row where “burt” was sitting… and the head attendant announced over the loud speaker before we landed that “we have a very special passenger… burt, the djembe drum… and tracy, who will be playing the djembe while we de-plane.”

so now i can check off the airplane for places i’ve performed…

anyways.. enough typing. here’s some pictures of my trip. i’ll work on getting the rest online and at picturequeen.com sometime later this week.

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ok. that’s all. i’m gonna go eat lunch now.

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(that would be a samsung 800W, 5 disk DVD player/surround sound theatre system)

and there’s a funny story about this new toy. at around noon-thirty, i decided it would be a good time to start my day… showered… and headed out to best buy around 2ish to take a look at some dvd/home theater systems.. since mine has been on it’s way out for the past couple years… and lately has gotten exponentially more annoying with all it’s “problems.” i ended up buying an open box version of the above model. i get it home… take it out of the box.. there’s no speaker cables… no antenna… and i need AAA batteries. *sigh* ok. trip to radio shack down the street. i spend a good chunk of time cutting wires, striping the ends, and taping them to the walls/floors so people don’t trip on them. plug in the system and play some stuff from my computer. it sounds pretty darn nice.

so now it’s sometime around 6pm.. and i decide… “hey.. lets just try a cd on this thing to see how much better that sounds”
disk error: no disk
.. uhh.. yes there is. *tries another cd*
no disk.
ARRRGG! *tries a dvd*
no disk
YES THERE IS! actually there’s THREE disks you dumb inanimate object!

*calls samsung*
“what’s the problem”
(i explain the problem and detailed steps in which i took to come to my conclusion of “it’s broken”)
“hmm. that’s weird. when did you get it?”
“about three hours ago”
“yea.. i’d take it back”
“oh. btw. are these supposed to come with speaker cables?”
“yep”
“ok. thanks”

it’s now around 6:38pm. best buy is open until 7pm on sundays. i work full time, and wouldn’t be able to take it back to best buy till wednesday. that’s just not going to fly with me.

*tears down surround sound system in record time, puts everything in the box, RUNS to put the system in her car.. and white knuckles it to fox point*

*arrives at best buy at 6:58pm*

at this point i’m pretty much RUNNING with this 30-some-odd pound box… never mind the fact that it’s freezing rain and i’m the biggest clutz in the world.. i’m on a mission!

so basically i get a brand new one of the above model… and this time i can use this coupon that i had gotten in the mail.. so i get around $35 credit back to my credit card. w00t.

now i’m just sitting on my couch relaxing from setting up this surround sound system TWICE… but at least i have a working dvd player now. and that makes me happy.

(and now for something completely unrelated) nikkiana posted a link to this movie on youtube.. and it’s hilarious.. go watch.

that’s all. i’m gonna go use my new toy now.

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example 1: today, i decide, i’m gonna go to noodles & company for lunch. i order my food ‘to go’… i’m standing around reading the latest MKE… and i hear.. “tracy?” sure enough. i run into two friends, kristin and meghan on their lunch break.

example 2: yesterday, on my day off… i celebrated my ‘president’s day’ by doing laundry and running errands. i’m at wall-mart to pick up a gym bag, and i run into my friend cheryl that i hadn’t seen in forever.

and lastly… these above examples are not rare at all… things like this happen at least once or twice a week. it’s kinda scary. but all a reason why i love this little “big” town of milwaukee

random subject change: so all you people who wanted a mix cd and gave me your address.. they are on their way.

random fact of the day: it’s cheaper to send two cds to south africa than sending the same two cds to danmark. (by a whopping $0.20 )

random randomness:

so here’s a funny conversation that i had the other day with kristen. part of this was via aim, the other part via facebook. i hope you smell the sarcasm that oozes from this…

k: “Christian pediatrician denies child service because parents are tattooed” (link to full article)

like fark.com said: “you know, just like jesus would do.”

t: exactly like jesus would do. i mean.. remember that chapter that jesus turned all these people away cuz he was too busy filling up his expensive SUV with gas that he could waste while driving really fast and a-hole-ish on the freeway, while punching babies in the head?

yea.. it was… right after the story about how God hates all people.

k:i had TOTALLY FORGOTTEN the parable of the punch-ed baby.

t:hehe. i knew you would

k: wasn’t that in….2nd Letter of Bill Gates? or some other ridiculously rich and arrogant fool.

t: it was in the book of “your mom”

k:*gasp*

that was SECRET!

t: hahaha

k: the council of nicea promised they’d never tell!

t: this is why we can’t have nice things.

k: because…of….the council of nicea?

what?

t: who’s naked?

k:on your face.

WAIT!

wait wait wait

t: (this can’t end well)

k:rofl

um

well, depending on your perspective

or, like this: http://www.cuteoverload.com/

teehee

t: AHHH!!! CUTESITEEEEE

k:riiiiiight?

i’m totally with ya.

in spirit.

t:k.

good.

k: in a sort of metaphorical way.

t: kinda scary

k:by which i mean, not really at all

actually, so “not really at all” that i’m halfway across the country from you….that kind of “with ya.”

and if you could follow that….

gold star for the day on your naked face. what?

t: so.. it’s like.. “i got your back… only if you are 5,000 miles wide” type right?

k: ROFL

t: i think i need to blog this… but i’m afraid of what kind of search engine results i would get…

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but seriously.. i know i can’t be alone. why do we need tv anymore? between youtube, myspace video and google video… you can find pretty much anything you would ever want on the internet. i even found a whole episode of ‘ellen’.. which i think everyone needs to watch. (it’s broken up into three parts: one, two and three) it really shows how much discrimination is still in the world.. but puts it in a funny way to think about. so go watch that.. i’m gonna go make some pizza. *waves*

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i give up. i should remain seated to avoid hurting myself.

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:-)

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hehe. too funny.

anyways. hi everyone. i thought i’d start off this evening’s blog with a quote. speaking of funny things i have heard… my building manager just left… but she was talking about how she did the myers-brings test for her cats…

*shakes head*

in case you haven’t noticed… my life is anything but boring.

and have i mentioned that i started taking kickboxing classes? yea. well.. i have. and they have been kicking my butt. i’m still sore from my class on monday.

i really don’t have much to say… so i’m gonna go work on a poster for our next metafour jazz gig. speaking of metafour.. i think i’m gonna redesign that website soon. i’m inspired now that i’ve got a new design up here on em.org. w00t.

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so i’ve been busy with work. it’s been super fun… since the holidays are approaching.. there’s all sorts of “fun” things going on here. last week we got a Christmas tree from another office (out of state)… and they treated us to pizza.. and we decorated the tree. today the whole office (which is basically like two different companies under one roof… just for simplicity’s sake) had a chili competition called the “Chili Bowl II.” i ate so much chili i think some sort of crazy chemical reaction is happening in my stomach as we speak i type.

*pauses to read her title of this entry.. for she forgot what she was going to say next*

hey all you math people out there…. well… anyone who has gone through simple elementary math at least. you will get a kick out of this: VerizonMath.com. there is a link on that page to “listen to the call“… it’s long.. but it’s hilarious. make sure you find some time to listen to this….. it’s simply amazing how some people just don’t “get it”…. and why exactly are schools budgets getting CUT?!?! this is a prime example of why we need to put MORE effort into our school systems in this country!

ok. enough of that rant.

and one more thing… go elf-a-size yourself

Current Mood:  amused

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however.. i did finally start working on a layout for jazzhandsforjesus.com … it’s not done yet.. but you can see a preview with the little “coming soon” graphic. and in preparation for the grand launch of JHFJ… start taking pictures of yourself and/or others doing ‘jazz hands’… and send them over to me.

ok. that’s all. i’m going to bed now.

*jazz hands*

Current Mood:  cold

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welp. see ya later.

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well.. i have. i am at one now actually. in oshkosh.

i’ve been to spoken word nights in milwaukee / bay view.. but this one is different.

i feel really captivated with the audience that is here… where do i start? ok. so you know the really nerdy artsy types? usually creative writing majors or music majors? the types of people who wear a santa hat all fall/winter .. and have for the last 10 years of their lives? the people with a button up shirt underneath a ‘clever’ tshirt, (both shirts the same color, mind you) color sticking out over the top… who cross their legs, with a spiral notebook on their lap.. pen in hand.. looking intellectually at the pen… like as if they are trying to listen to what the ink inside the pen wants to do today? the people who must still tease their hair (hey.. remember that?) to look somewhat like einstein? or how ’bout the super “emo” people with their black hair covering one eye.. because life is “just THAT unbearable to face.”… yea. and then there’s me and michele… one half of a jazz quartet.

don’t get me wrong. this is fun. i’m just distracted with my people watching in these types of environments.

this is better than tv.

(ok. dude with the santa hat just played an improv song and announced afterwards that he went through 7 different key changes in that song. gosh i love life)

Current Mood:  amused

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when i checked for my mail and it hadn’t come even at 3:30-4pm, i google searched, and discovered that today is columbus day.

i must live in a bubble.

oh. and i made something last night/today.. that i’m pretty happy with. i’ll be working on getting it online to share with you all soon… don’t you worry

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ok now… go.

(don’t forget to type out the sentence you end up with in the subject line and forward to your friends/blog on your blog/etc.)

pick the month you were born:

January–I kicked
February–I loved
March–I smoked
April–I skated with
May–I choked on
June–I murdered
July–I did the Macarena with
August–I had lunch with
September–I danced with
October–I sang to
November–I yelled at
December–I ran over

pick the day (number) you were born on:

1——-a birdbath
2——-a monster
3——-a phone
4——-a fork
5——-a Mexican
6——-a gangster
7——-my cell phone
8——-my dog
9——-my best friends’ boyfriend
10——-my neighbor
11——-my science teacher
12——-a banana
13——-a fireman
14——-a stuffed animal
15——-a goat
16——-a pickle
17——-your mom
18——-a spoon
19——-myself
20——-a baseball bat
21——-a ninja
22——-Chuck Norris
23——-a noodle
24——-a squirrel
25——-a football player
26——-my sister
27——-my brother
28——-an ipod
29——-a permanent marker
30——-a llama
31——-A homeless guy

pick the color of shirt you are wearing:

White———-because I’m cool like that
Black———–because that’s how I roll.
Pink————because I’m NOT a homosexual.
Red————because the voices told me to.
Blue———–because I’m sexy and I do what I want
Green———because I hate myself.
Purple———because I’m cool.
Gray———-because I was drunk
Yellow——–because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange ——-because I hate my family.
Brown——–because I was high.
Other——-because I’m a ninja.
None——–because I cant control myself

Current Mood:  amused

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and that caused me to participate in a celebratory shopping trip for new work clothes.

which in turn caused me to put on these new clothes and take pictures of myself pretending to be a model.

that of which i will now post for your enjoyment…. (note.. as the self-portrait picture taking went on.. i got punchier and punchier… and as a result… the pictures became more and more ridiculous. don’t say i didn’t warn you.)

(outfit #1: brown shirt and jeans, from j.crew)

(note the tag still attached to these jeans. it’s almost cool enough to leave on there for good… almost)

(here i am checking the time. note that i’m not even wearing a watch. that’s how good i am at this model posing thing…)

(not sure what pose this is… )

(outfit #2: light blue shirt (same cut as the brown one) and brown pants from j.crew)

(here i am obviously pointing at something very interesting…)

(i am now laughing at a joke that one of the other models must have said. wow. that was hilarious. look at me laugh. i must be having a great time with all those people around me……)

(didn’t i warn you about getting punchy? here i am obviously doing a jig. j.crew should hire me as a model.)

(new shoes! i finally got me some doc martins )

ok. wasn’t that fun?

ps. guess who is the proud new owner of JazzHandsForJesus.com? yep. watch out for some fun jazz-hand fun over there… *grin*

Current Mood:  chipper

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yep. facebook is now open for all.

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but that’s not gonna stop me from posting another picture blog right now.

so this was my night last night…

all you mac users out there will notice that these pictures were taken with photobooth. and for all you windows pc people out there… photobooth ALONE is worth the purchase of a new mac. trust me on this one.

anyways. great times were had… many laughs were… laughed…

gosh i have some great friends.

Current Mood:  chipper

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Current Mood:  amused

Current Music: da breakup song

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that makes me happy. almost as much as this does.

:-)

Current Mood:  amused

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‘What will your obituary say?’ at QuizGalaxy.com

*grin*

oh leaky… my dear friend… keep your head up (if you even have a head)

ok. that was fun. i promise i’ll post a REAL blog soon…

Current Mood:  amused

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it’s tracy, your host, back again… *pauses for applause*

anyways. check out this flash movie… it’s awesome!

it’s hot. i’m gonna go lie in front of a fan again in order to not get crabby.

*waves*

Current Mood:  hot

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my six strange/funny/weird/interesting facts about me…

1. i’m really addicted to watching tv programs on my computer lately…

2. i have difficulty with silence when i’m alone. but not so much when there are people around.

3. my head hurts right now…. i still have the same headache that i went to bed with last night.

4. my new myspace profile pic makes me laugh every time i see it.

5. i want to go back to danmark this summer sometime… but my schedule looks like it won’t allow for it.

6. i enjoy recording random things with my computer and making mp3s of such recordings.

and now i suppose i have to tag some people.. so i tag: paige, stephanie, shanna, kimmi, cheryl, and you!

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Current Mood:  amused

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