more...

“‘For twenty years, the GLBT community has been coming out and putting an ever-more personal face to issues in our lives, and that is clearly changing hearts and minds,’ said Mark Shields, director of the HRC Coming Out Project. ‘Americans have come to know their GLBT friends and family in a new way in the last 20 years, and those relationships have changed the cultural landscape.’”

also, in honor of coming out day, HRC put a youtube video together, and asked for video responses of ‘coming out’ stories. take a look at those by clicking here.

i encourage everyone to check those out. there’s so much we can learn from other people’s “life story”.. and we learn the most when we meet people that are much different than us. there’s also some great video stories on this website, click here and check those out as well.

more...

what made me think of this? well for one.. michele is visiting her brother in mississippi (that’s just plain fun to type ) and she was telling me about a conversation with her niece (who’s 9)… and how she knows what a lesbian is because there is an out lesbian on some model show. huh. interesting that this little girl’s source of LGBT individuals is some reality tv show.

and then that got me thinking about all the out lesbians that are in the spotlight right now. there’s pretty many of them, especially compared to years ago when the discrimination against gay and lesbian individuals was much more widely spread (i was about to say “popular”.. but it still seems to be kinda popular with all the states that voted… well.. nevermind. i’m not going to even get into that whole bag of worms. it will just make me too upset.) and what’s even greater about the quantity of lesbians in the limelight… but the QUALITY of them… or i should say the relationships. of course you always have the “bad examples” in the media of broken relationships… but we see that all over the place. its so encouraging to see two very stable, loving, normal and REAL relationships within the “star” community. (well.. three if you want to consider rosie stable.. but while her relationship is stable.. she tends to rub many people the wrong way because she speaks from her heart with such passion. but she’s not so much “in the spotlight” at the moment.. so i’m not counting her and her wife.) in particular i’m talking about ellen and portia… and melissa and tammy etheridge. i’ve been wandering around youtube.com and finding some really great examples of how their relationships are so real and such a good example for ANY relationship…. gay or straight.

i mean.. think about it. what is the subject that graces most “star” magazine covers? ‘so and so broke it off with so and so’ ‘so and so is cheating on so and so with blahbity-blah’ .. i mean.. we see all this junk all over our media… it’s kinda refreshing to see some people who live their lives SMART. people who actually live as a good example.

now flip back to people that i know personally.

yesterday i attended a wedding reception (you may seen a picture of the dancing here on my blog. if not.. scroll down.) it was such an amazing time and was a great celebration of a couple that couldn’t be more perfect for each other. but i left that wedding reception and found myself bitter and angry as i drove home. why? because their marriage has been deemed “not legal” by people who will never know their names. they have been called “not worthy” of laws to protect their future together. and there is no good reason why. none.

in one of my online forum/groups this topic came up recently. and i brought up one of the “arguments” that anti-gay-marriage-people use: ‘the gay people are trying to tear down and destroy marriage’. riiiiight. like.. by having two women be protected under the law with a legal marriage license.. this is going to affect your relationship.. how?!?

a straight married woman posted “The sanctity of my marriage is not dependent upon whether or not two women exchange vows, or two men trade rings. Denying them the ability to act, think, and do as they please gives me nothing, but denies them their very freedom.

Sorry… doesn’t fly with me.”

and it doesn’t fly with me either. it’s like the lyrics in the melissa etheridge song that i posted the other day (again… scroll down and watch that. trust me.. you won’t be sorry ) “it’s funny how you find just what you seek”… and even the Bible talks about that. interesting. eh?

and i leave you with a quote from tammy etheridge that she said in an interview in response to how she always refers to melissa as her wife: “in 80 years its really not gonna matter. our children are going to read history books about how they used to treat the gays. and that’s ok. right now we’re just in the middle of it. and i’m gonna love her until we get through it. and get on the other side. nobody can change that.”

well put. (and ps. tammy has a blog. go check it out… cuz all the cool kids are doing it. hehehe. )

on that note. i’m going to go watch a movie now… and wait for my baby to get back tomorrow!!!

more...

more...

and isn’t it true with everything? if we weren’t fueled by something/someone… if we were never challenged by someone with a different view… if we never met opposition…. would we ever fly?

more...

someone noted how this “younger generation” always needs to be “plugged in”… and that’s really true.. at least for me. i’m excited now that i have my iphone, that i can check my email or post to my blog anywhere and everywhere… i guess it’s a pretty interesting phenomenon though. before people had to walk to where you were and talk to you… then we had horses bringing written mail to people who were far away… and trains… and this amazing little “box” where you could hear the person in the earpiece… and they could hear you if they had the same device… then those crazy little “telephones” got more popular… smaller… and lost the wires… oh yea.. and add the internet into this mix… and look where we are today. technology really does change how we communicate, learn and live. not good. not bad. just different.

more...

this was my ‘thank you’ present from master Chai. this was such an honor to just MEET this man.. let alone get a personalized souvenir from him! seriously.. read his bio and you’ll see what i mean. what an amazing and talented man! he explained in the seminar he was teaching “i’m not that fast anymore”… yet he would throw an undetermined amount of punches in less than a split second. (i tried to count once… but he was too fast for my eye to catch)

anyways… i just wanted to share that. i haven’t been feeling all that great health-wise.. so i’m going to get to bed and try to get some extra sleep.

oh yea… here are some pictures from last weekend

more...

but seriously.. i know i can’t be alone. why do we need tv anymore? between youtube, myspace video and google video… you can find pretty much anything you would ever want on the internet. i even found a whole episode of ‘ellen’.. which i think everyone needs to watch. (it’s broken up into three parts: one, two and three) it really shows how much discrimination is still in the world.. but puts it in a funny way to think about. so go watch that.. i’m gonna go make some pizza. *waves*

more...

there’s something horribly, horribly RIGHT about this video.

“how we love others is how we love God.”

Current Mood:  pleased

more...

Current Mood:  pleased

more...

pass along the word. click the image above and see what you can do to help.

join with fellow Christians, Jews, republicans, democrats, students, teachers, laborers, businesses, lawyers, seniors and thousands of others in putting a stop to this ban!

more...

i realize how many people i know / have known through the years… and i’m floored. yet it kinda makes me sad to think of all the people that i haven’t talked to in a long while. and actually i have just recently been going through another one of those “friend shift” periods in my life… not by my choice.. but it’s just how life goes. i’m realizing more and more that i can’t keep my “old” friends just as they ‘were’… and i have to let go and let both sides grow as God intends them to.

see… the funny thing about these recent thoughts of ‘friend-circles’ has come up in really random ways in my life lately. for example, our latest gig with the jazz quartet…. i was SUPER excited about, and told as many of my friends as i could. yet all my friends that said they would ‘try to make it’… never showed. and actually, only two of the 40+ people that i invited came to the show. but despite the fact that virtually none of my friends were there, the place was FILLED with familiar faces.. and i was surrounded by a great number of ‘new-circle-of-friends’ type people. it was awesome to see so many people come to hear US! i think we have a good chance of getting another gig at the mosaic in the future. i really hope so, since i had such a great time playing there.

now i don’t want this blog to sound like “oh.. poor me.. my friends don’t come to hear me play..blah blah”… because that’s not what i feel at all. i mean.. i AM sad that i don’t see / hang out with / talk to my ‘old’ friends as much. but i really am blessed with some great friends, and have ALWAYS been blessed with great friends. just because the ‘seasons’ of my ‘close friends’ changes, it’s still a blessing to have had the opportunity to cross paths with so many wonderful people throughout my life.

and this fact makes me think about how many people in this world WILL i run into throughout my days? i’ve already met SO many people… and i’m only 27 years old. it reminds me again and again to never ‘burn bridges’.. since i never know if i will run into certain people again in my life. hey.. they might be my boss someday…. or worse yet… be preparing my food this is where i don’t understand how people can be rude to people they don’t know. i mean.. the other day.. i was sitting in the drive through at wendy’s.. just to get a soda and a little snack… and the drive through lady just looked like she was having the worse night. i watched as the guy in front of me angrily pulled out of the drive through line, squealing his tires because there was a couple minute wait…. and seeing her having ‘technical problems’ with the cash register, so the manager had to come over and put some sort of code in the machine to get it to work… and all these things just happening in the 3 or so minutes that i was there. i’m sure she interacted with some pretty crabby customers throughout the night. yet through all of this stuff, i just smiled as she gave me my food and i told her to ‘try to have a good night.’ and for the first time in those minutes, i saw a smile emerge from out of nowhere.

seriously people. if a smile is all it takes to get another person to smile…. why don’t we do that more often?

wouldn’t life be easier if we would just be nice to people that we meet in our lives? wouldn’t we all be healthier for doing so?

ok. i’ll get off my soap box now… i never know exactly where i am going with these blogs… but that’s just how my brain works. have a great weekend everyone. and SMILE and a stranger… or two… or fifteen….

more...

so i’m sitting in a marquette university classroom waiting for a class to start

i know what you are thinking… “i thought she was done with college” and “hey.. didn’t she go to uwm for college?” yea. both of those are true. but i’m ‘sitting in’ for a class taught by the one and only michele korb. i get to see first hand the people she mentions… put a face to those papers that i see her grading…. and see micki in “her element.”

i’m excited to be in a class… and not have any stress about it. i don’t have to worry about being tested… or to make sure i get all the notes i need… etc. this is the kind of school i like… (and no.. sitting here in this chair with the fold-up desk arm on the side doesn’t make me miss college or feel like i need to go back to school. it actually makes me feel the opposite. i’m happy to be out of school. an occasional visit is fine… but taking classes… nope.

this makes me think about what we do to understand a piece of those we love. do you ever notice how people act or even how they look when they are doing what their passion is? have you ever seen a friend or family member truly “in their element?” i remember a couple different stories of seeing people be truly themselves… or at least getting a glimpse of that. one in particular that happened just a couple months ago when i went down to chicago to go dancing. we went out to funky buddha’s in downtown chicago with sunitha. i’m sure i’ve talked about sunitha before… but she’s one of the wisest people i know. she is originally from india and has an amazing ability to listen and learn about people and their interactions with each other. plus she is very aware of culture and it’s effect on people and their actions, especially since she is living in the united states but looking at the american ‘culture’ from the lens of another culture. i enjoy every conversation that i get to share with her and have learned so much from her. well one thing about this amazing woman of God is her dancing. she has shared with us several different dances from her own culture. it was amazing to see her come to life and move so freely. i could tell there was a different “presence” to her when she was dancing. well that night at the funky buddha was no different. the music played… more and more people filed into that little club.. filled the dance floor… and suddenly i saw sunitha’s spirit run wild. it was an amazing sight and it made me want to let go of whatever was holding me back to follow my passions with that same energy.

so right now.. there is a group presenting chapters 5 and 6 from their texts…. michele is in ‘teacher mode’ and diligently taking notes about her students presentation. you know.. i wonder how aware these students are of their teacher? how aware was i when i was in class? i don’t think i truly understood or even cared when i was in school. i was too wrapped up in the anxiety and nervousness of “passing the class” and getting good grades. there were few teachers that i really remembered as standing out. and now i realize why they stood out. they were doing what their passion was… and their spirit was truly set free. whenever we are doing what means so much to us… when we are truly following our passion… other people can’t HELP but notice and be effected in some way by it. when we have teachers who truly share this passion, we as the student can’t help but learn something. no matter our profession or place in life… if we follow that passion… people sit up and notice.

following our heart changes how we look at life… and how we look in life.

so.. maybe we will look different if we are truly following our passions and desires? would that make us weird or ‘out of place’? a part of the american culture is all about “being different”… so why is it a scary thing to be different from other people? i know from personal experience that being different and ‘standing out’ is scary because of expectations. you know the quote “with great power comes great responsibility”… well i think that’s very true and can be terrifying at the same time. so now that we stand out… people are watching us… what do we have to say now? what are we going to do? it’s like we are on stage and the spotlight is on us… now … entertain everyone. ready, set, go. everyone’s watching…. this better be good.

but we are all there at some point. we all have the ability to follow our passions and do great things. but what if we fail? is that reason enough to not even step out and try? i think not. so what’s stopping us from ‘looking different’

ok. now the group is still presenting… and the guy is talking about liver.

wow. this is a really random entry.

and now i’m home and gonna post this.. and since it’s so stinkin’ long i’m gonna post pictures that i took with my camera phone during the class throughout the enrty. hhokay?

Current Mood:  chipper

more...

(i knew i liked martina navrátilová for a reason )

Current Mood:  content

more...

   - ani

more...

as you can see… esteban has discovered a little known fact. all my webpage user accounts can post entries on my site. yes. it’s true. so feel free to post if you wish. (and you don’t even have to wait for the next free for all friday *grin*

i trust you all. and plus.. when i get super busy.. my webpage gets really boring. anyways. if you do post.. just say “hey this is _____” so my family doesn’t get confused as to who is talking on my page

anyways. just a quick little update on me and my life.

i thought my computer died last night. but it just had a temporary power issue. w00t. i’m back up and running after a quick trip to the apple store. i actually watched wrestle mania last night… and it wasn’t so bad. well.. i should add that the reason why it wasn’t so bad was the funny ‘peanut gallery’ comments that myself, matt and jeff were making throughout. (hilarity ensued) the smirnoff ice didn’t hurt either.

this weekend was the expressions: sexuality & faith conference at uwm. i thought it went super well. i know they wanted more people.. but gosh.. i was thankful for all the people that were there! i got to take pictures of the conference… so i had a blast just running around to hear bits of each session. a lot of really great points were… well.. pointed out. i also had the privilege to meet more of my awesome brothers and sisters… i’m so thankful for that. and i hope more people wrestle with the issues we discussed and really seek God for the truth of His love! i hope this is a yearly thing.. and more and more churches will start talking about these things… challenging themselves and their beliefs… seeking God to answer the tough questions they have… and allow their eyes and hearts to be opened and blessed by people like my newly found brothers and sisters. (i may post a whole entry expanding on my thoughts on this… but that will be later… )

ok. well.. so much for a “quick” update on my life…

more...

amen!

more...

Current Mood:  content

more...

more...

:-D

more...

Current Mood:  grateful

more...

it’s been a real blast having julia visit for the weekend. i love having friends randomly drop by and visit. and if you know me, i also love ‘networking’ friends (you know… having my friends meet my other friends … so we can all be one big group of friends). that’s one thing that has been such a tremendous blessing in my life… that i have a group of friends that knows each other in some way or another. and actually, when i reflect on my group of friends in my life right now, it’s pretty amazing to think of how God weaved all our lives together. man.. God’s cool!

so here’s a quick rundown of this past weekend. friday night, me and julia went to see the concert in chicago (it was ginny owens, monk & neagle, and randall goodgame). saturday night was the 50th anniversary of university christian ministries at uwm, and there was a banquet that we attended, and i had the opportunity to do a brief sharing at the dinner. (a talk, under five minutes, about how campus ministry effected my life at uwm) sunday morning was church at westminster…. where i played with the band for the first time in quite a while. sunday night me and julia hung out with my friend naomi on the east side until the wee hours of the morning. (man.. i love that area.. not to mention jimmy johns! ) monday we hung around my apartment and acted nerdy on our laptops…. now it’s tuesday morning.. and i need to go to bed.

so there’s the update. happy?

-o- i found this link on nikki‘s site… and i just have to link it. can a real Christian have depression? from relevant magazine. it’s right on. read it!

more...

It’s been a hard year
But I’m climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle
But every day it’s…
Less like tearing more like building
Less like captive more like willing
Less like breakdown more like surrender
Less like haunting more like remember
And I feel you here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
look less like scars and more like character

Less like a prison a prison more like my room
Less like a casket more like a womb
Less like dying more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending

And I feel you here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
look less like scars

Just a little while ago
I couldn’t feel the power or the hope
I couldn’t cope, I couldn’t feel a thing
Just a little while back
I was desperate, broken, laid out
Hoping you would come

And I need you
And I want you here
And I feel you…

And I know you’re here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
look less like scars
And in your hands the pain and hurt
look less like scars
And in your hands the pain and hurt
look less like scars
And more like character

(“less like scars” by sara groves)

more...

but all april fools things aside, i just have to comment briefly about something. i received a compliment today that really made me think (in a good way). first off, if you keep up with the mp3s that i post on my webpage, you may have noticed that there are now more and more songs on there where i am singing and playing the guitar for our crusade worship team. well today someone said that they were glad that i was singing more at crusade. they told me that when i sing, it’s so… real, and commented that i have a real gift in music. this complement really touched me. not right away though. an hour or so afterwards, it really hit me. and i was like. ‘wow‘. i love how God gives me these tidbits of encouragement. i’ll admit, while i feel that my calling is in music ministry, there are days when i feel so inadequate. some days i feel like i’m just not ‘good’ in music, or that i just ‘can’t do it’. but then God chimes in and chips away one more of the self constructed doubts in my mind.

so yea, that’s a little insight to what’s going on in my complex mind now this mind will go lay on that pillow on that bed over there. night!

more...

i don’t know how many people who read this have had the awesome opportunity to assist in “leading” worship. and i put “leading” in quotations, because i feel that no human can actually lead in worship. God leads. in talking to chris tomlin, he calls himself a ‘lead worshiper’ as opposed to ‘worship leader’. and i like that. it’s much more accurate of a title. but anyways.. i digress… (as usual).

being on the ‘worship team‘ has been such an awesome experience for me, for many reasons. the fellowship with other people who share in my passion for music and for praising God is just the tip of the iceberg! one thing that only people who have been in front during worship can tell you about, is the sight we see. it is so awesome. i can be playing SOOO badly. hitting on a wrong note.. speeding up the beat.. drop a stick… completely miss the drums. miss the cymbals.. hit myself in the head… (don’t laugh… i’ve done it… MANY times. and yes… that does explain some things *grin*)… but then i’ll look out at the crowd.. and see people just worshiping God… it just makes me realize… it’s NOT about me. it’s NOT about how i play the drums. God can use me even when i do hit myself in the head. God asks us to make a joyful noise. (and trust me. i do that a LOT while driving in my car! *grin*) i wish everyone could see what i see when i’m on the worship team…. it puts things back into perspective for me… and just brings joy to my soul. (and this view of mine is a big reason why when people compliment me, i’ll tell them… “well.. thanks.. but i just hit things” )

so anyways. that was on my heart to tell you all. thanks for listening (reading). and my God’s blessings fill your morning/day/evening/night.

more...

anyways, i just had an awesome day, and i must share with you this day that God blessed me with.

first, let me start with yesterday, since the two days have just blended together for me so yesterday, i get up early and head to plymouth church to help chaperone some kids from two different youth groups participating in the 30 hour famine. this was an interesting experience. if you know me, you know that i don’t like working with younger kids very much, but this was pretty cool. we did a couple art projects, a super awesome community service project, several Bible studies, and many many games. you could tell the kids got more and more tired and worn out from not eating (as with us adults) because for the last two Bible studies there was no one playing with the punching balloon, throwing pillows, kicking or punching each other, falling off chairs, cracking jokes, squirming or otherwise being a distraction. they actually began to look and act more human, and at those points when they were seriously applying themselves, the questions and the statements that came out of their mouths were amazingly intelligent. it was pretty cool to see. and as they started to settle down a bit, my migraine actually went away.

so anyways, i ended up leaving the sleepover a bit early, and drove down to racine after 10pm. got lost in racine (again). talked to some random person in open pantry on my cell phone. found my way again. got the chance to reunite with several of my friends. received and gave several hugs in a very short amount of time. danced a bit, talked a bit, went to eat at denny’s in racine with some of my michigan peeps, and then drove home around 1am.
so i get home, blog, talk to glynn who just happened to be over, then went to bed.

wake up this morning, go to westminster church to play in the church band. things went well there, and i just love that congregation there. all the people are just so nice, welcoming, and loving. alan mentioned me in the prayers of the church about my upcoming surgery (which is march 19th by the way), and everyone in the church came up to me afterwards to talk to me about it, wish me luck, assure me that God was with me and/or say that they would keep me in their prayers. i am just so touched by their outpouring of concern, as well as all the prayers of all my other brothers and sisters in Christ.

in the afternoon, while i was resting and taking a bit of a nap, cari calls and comes over just to hang out. i’m just so blessed with friends. i love it when just the simple presence of a friend is God’s present to me. Thanks God!

finally, this evening i agreed to lead the music for an evening service at plymouth church, the same place where the 30 hour famine happenings occurred, so the sanctuary was littered with banners and strings of paper adorned with hand prints. (over 2,000 hand prints, mind you. each hand, representing 15 kids that die EACH DAY due to hunger related causes!) the service went great, and the fellowship afterwards was even more awesome. there was just something so terribly… RIGHT… about the people. we laughed so much. we found unexpected things in common with each other. and just delighted in God’s presence.

and now, i’m going to meet more awesome friends at my parents house. *waves* God rocks!

more...

more...

but anyway, i’m blogging as my “break” from cleaning my room…. (well.. the cleaning is going really slow, because it consists mostly of looking through the old stuff i find and reminiscing) since my room looks like my closet puked all over my floor. (yea… graphic picture.. but trust me.. it’s a disaster in here!) i figured i should clean my room and maybe do some laundry before we go to minnesota for the weekend (ahhh! i can’t wait!!!)… since classes start up right when we get back. (yuck. i’m not looking forward to classes to start.. can you tell?)

some times… when i really clean my room, i’ll take the time to look at the stuff that i’m cleaning. and i always find pictures. (go fig. *grin*) pictures from recent occasions most of the time, but every so often, i find older pictures, and i am always taken back in time to remember those days. i’m taken back and remember the friends i had and have not talked to in years… the friends who have passed away…. the friends who have changed. i look at how things were, and i smile. but then i remember how _I_ was in those days. how on the outside i was happy, smiley and care-free. but in the inside i felt depressed… alone… empty. it makes me so much more thankful for my life today…. a life filled with joy (joy is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of Christ)

as i listen out my window, and hear the freshman coming back from the parties down the street… intoxicated… shouting… laughing… running… falling…….. i am reminded of how many people have that emptiness in their life. it breaks my heart. but mountains will be moved this year. i am sure of it.

more...

i went to my cousin’s birthday party (he’s 21. i feel old. my “little” cousins are getting older… and MUCH taller than me.. ahh!) and had a chance to talk to family for a bit… and watch others get thrown in the pool with their clothes on. (heh) i also always seem to leave my family with lots of food! my roommates love me because of all the food i bring home for them. hehe

anyway, the most important part of my day was later when i went to church at my friend amy’s church. i really do like that church, and it was a good thing that i decided to go tonight (even though i lost track of time and ended up getting there late, and almost couldn’t find my other friends who were already in church).

the sermon tonight was about “living on the edge.” it was really good for me to hear. the passage was about the “twin cities”, sodom and gomorrah, being destroyed. the ‘cities’ represented sin, and God telling lot to leave the city behind, and head far away to the mountains, represented God’s calling us to leave behind the sinful life, and find true life, joy and freedom in His presence. lot didn’t want to go too far from the city where he had made his ‘home’, so he bargained with God to flee to a smaller town just outside the cities. this is what we tend to do in our own lives …. we want to ‘live on the edge’ …. not leave our past completely behind us and move far away. why? fear, indecision, doubt? *shrugs*

anyway, the sermon was really awesome, and the pastor even brought a dog into the church for his sermon. it was pretty funny to see the dog running around on a long leash… and jumping up on the pews etc. (mind you, this is a HUGE church. i think this place can seat over 1,200 people) and the dog on the leash tied in perfectly with the sermon topic, which i found pretty cool. when living on the edge, we are just like the dog… always trying to tug on the leash to get further, but going back to the owner when we need something (like the treat of a piece of chicken that the dog so anxiously went back for.) and then running back to where our interests lie… in the world.

anyway, before i make this post WAY too long for my own good, i’m just gonna say that the lesson today was very good, and that our decisions to follow Christ should be all or nothing… not “living on the edge” between both choices…
i choose Christ.

more...